The Two Times My Beautiful Pooter Kitty Thought I Tried to Kill Him

Years ago, I had a beautiful Black and White Tuxedo kitty I named Smudge. He was a shelter kitty and the sweetest I have ever known. 

He never gave me a second of worry. I, however, worried him twice.


One time I startled my poor kitty to dickens, but really, he shouldn’t have followed me into the bathroom. Sounding like Mt. Vesuvius, I startled him so he jumped straight up in the air.

Not only could I see his reflection in the bathroom mirror with the towel bars he cleared, he flipped himself around! 

What an impressive height!

Some years later, recovering from some intestinal bug; my doctor instructed me to eat plenty of yogurt to replenish the intestinal flora chased out via the aforementioned intestinal bug.

So, I am at my computer with Smudge perched contently snoozing on the back of the chair. 

I felt lower abdominal discomfort and living alone; I farted.


To this day, I do not know if Smudge passed out and fell off or I blew him off the back of the chair, but I turned to look at him. He was in defense-crouched-down-mode looking at me with the widest eye expression I ever saw on anybody EVER.IN.MY.LIFE.!!

“MOM!!! Are you trying to kill me????????????”

His expression was like this, only his eyes were a lot WIDER:

I shared this story with everybody I knew and laughed about it for three days.

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